“WTF Is Going On?”

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crazy eyes

This is me… on crazy pills.

 

I titled this post “WTF Is Going On?” because I feel like that’s a question a lot of our friends must be asking right now. Lately, it’s a question I ask myself quite a bit.

Before I married Jereme, I was extremely high-strung. Our first year of marriage was pretty tough because of my Type A personality. But over the years, he’s managed to calm me down quite a bit.

I still get in a tiff when the house is messy. But I’m not nearly as bad as I used to be.

For illustration purposes, here’s a story…

Shortly after we moved into our house, Jereme walked by a picture frame and accidentally brushed up against it hard enough to knock it off the wall. Not only did it break; it left a big black skid mark on our fresh white paint.

I flipped my $h!+.

Immediately, I turned on my computer and started searching for the same picture frame online so I could buy a new one. When I realized they didn’t make it anymore, I started to rant in a loud voice about what a klutz I had married.

We fought. We fought like a couple who is going through something serious, like infidelity, would fight. Not like a couple who had just lost a $10 picture frame, which, by the way, was a gift received through a Secret Santa exchange.

A picture frame, which reads, “Love Makes Our House a Home.” How’s that for irony?

A few days later, I got in my car to drive to work. As I was backing out of the garage, I ran into the recycle bin and drove a hole into the fresh drywall.

Immediately, I ran inside, woke Jereme up, and yelled at him for putting the trash can too close to my car and forcing me to maneuver in such a way as to put a hole in the wall.

Was I on crazy pills?

Most likely.

And now? I’m still on crazy pills. But of a totally different kind. At least that’s how I feel. And that’s probably what everyone else thinks when they look at our life and some of the decisions we’ve made over the last two years.

“Like what?” you ask.

Well, for starters…

  • Taking a 50% pay cut to stay home with our baby.
  • Investing $3K that we didn’t have on a training program that would teach us how to start and manage a local online business.
  • Agreeing to let Jereme quit his job right before the new year, knowing our income would be 1/3 of what it used to be, yet we still have a mortgage, $30K in school loans, about $10K in credit card debt and a 9-month old to provide for.

So… I thought I’d write this post to clue all of you in on WTF is going on… 🙂

To be honest, I really don’t have any solid answers to that question. All I can say is that before I had Indie, I prayed for a year that God would provide for us financially so we could take care of her, and that he’d give me a job that would allow me to work from home so I wouldn’t have to leave my baby in a germ-infested daycare.

A month before going on maternity leave, I was offered a promotion at the company I was working for that gave me a 25% salary bump. Then, one week before I was supposed to go back to work, I got an offer for a full-time, virtual position as a Marketing Manager for a new start-up in the direct selling industry. I was able to negotiate the same salary, and work from home.

In addition to financial provision and a work-from-home job opportunity — both of which God blessed us with, in perfect time — I had prayed for a smooth, healthy home birth.

Indie’s birth seriously could not have gone any better.

I think it’s safe to say that God has our backs, yo.

As a result, I’ve been pretty relaxed when it comes to crazy life decisions lately. Sometimes, I still get a little bent out of shape.

Like when I lost that work-from-home job four months later and had to contemplate the idea of going back to cubicle hell.

But for the most part, it has felt good taking risks. Especially when it means I get to see this beautiful face all day long.

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God still provides. I now have a new business and a new work-from-home job. I get paid about 50% less than what I was making before, and since Jereme quit his job, our income is down by 2/3.

But we’re gonna be fine. I believe the start-up I’m working for will do big things, and I’m excited to be a part of the growth. And less than two months into our new business, we’re already starting to see results.

Today, we put our house up for rent. We’re not really sure where we’re gonna go when we get tenants. Our family members don’t have much room. For the past month, the west coast has been calling my name. I’ve been toying with the idea of moving across the country. I mentioned it to Jereme tonight, and he’s all for it. But we have no idea how we’d do it or where we’d go. Especially with our current income…

Crazy, right?

I suppose it’s no crazier than having your baby drug-free at home, choosing not to vaccinate her, taking a 50% pay cut to stay home with her, letting your husband quit his job and investing $3K that you don’t have into a new business that may or may not yield any short-term income.

Please pray for us, friends. We will need guidance and clarity as we continue to make some tough decisions over the next few months. Though we feel pretty grounded in the Lord, it never hurts to ask for help in the form of prayer.

“WTF is going on?”

We don’t know. And for the first time in my life, that feels pretty damn good.

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